I’m pretty sure that we all had our childhood dream. Some of use are still chasing it, some may still be dreaming it, and some… ALREADY LIVING IT. That’s what we all want. To live the dream we dreamed. But we will always come to a point where we have to either shift to a new dream or to continue fighting for it.
Nobody said it that it’s going to be easy. There will always be so many seas to cross, storms and floods to get through before we could get to where we want to be. The finish line is always far and there are tons of obstacles you need to overcome before you get there.
There will be times when you’re gonna feel like giving up because there are a lot of things affecting your dreams. Sometimes, the people around you are such downers BUT you have to always believe in yourself that YOU CAN. Because if you don’t believe in yourself, then who will? Go and Prove them wrong.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this but lately I’ve been thinking about quitting school. Not really quitting but stopping for a little while. I’ve always hated how my mom calls me and rants that she has no more money to pay for my tuition fee and for all her debts. I know I may sound like a bad child (I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN) for speaking like this but it annoys me so much. If she can’t pay for my schooling then why send me? I have always worked hard to earn passing marks to tell her how thankful I am for what she is doing. I know it is my responsibility to study well but if she continues to rant like this then I won’t be able to concentrate.
I called her earlier asking about the remaining balance I need to pay in school but then she gives me this long lecture about how I need to save money. I have always envied my classmates who doesn’t need to worry about this kind of stuff because they don’t have any reason to. I just wanna be of help to my mother. But if she continues to rant like this to me then maybe I should stop studying and just go home. I can’t take this anymore. There’s still an extra one kiao I need to pay in school and i can’t ask her for that because she said that she has only 200 bucks left in her wallet. Now I’m the one carrying the burden of finding out ways on how to cover this. Sometimes, I just want to die to get off all the bullshit. This thing they call Life, sucks.
…and maybe some dreams are meant to remain as dreams. And sometimes, believing in yourself is not enough because you always wanted somebody else to believe in you, to think that you’re not alone in this battle. To have someone to hold onto when your world is falling apart. Many people would tell you that God won’t give up on you but we always wanted a concrete human being to be there for us. Someone to give us a hug when we’re feeling down and someone who will tell us that we can do it. But we always have to remember that we can’t get everything we want. At least being alone is not a problem for me already because I have been living (feeling) alone for nearly eighteen years now.