Are You a Middle Child?
Technically, middle children are those who are born in between two or more siblings. Being born in between is a bigger problem than what we think. Before we cite the characteristics of middle children, let’s take a brief view of the some birth order traits, here goes. The eldest child is the leader, often he has strong decisive qualities that allow him to make firm decisions. This may be due to the expectations and special attention given to him by his parents. The youngest child is often lax and confident, probably the loudest and sometimes spoiled because the parents have used up their energies disciplining the others. The youngest is not much pressured than the eldest but never the less, she is given the attention she deserves. The middle child is then left with the biggest problem, what role could he/she take in the family?
The middle child, unlike the others, is not given much attention. The following are just some characteristics that define middle children. Note that not all of them or maybe even none may be observed in middle children. Middle children have low self-esteem. They need support for anything they do, sometimes talents are wasted when they do not pursue their dreams. Middle children have a feeling of emptiness.They are always lonely and are jealous of others. This is a very broad trait, since it affects every aspect of their lives. They may be a little weird, unfriendly and even worse, psychotic because of this feeling of emptiness. The two traits mentioned above can interact differently with different personalities. For example, an introvert middle child may prove to be more depressed and lonely than the extrovert middle child. There are a lot of possibilities for middle children, but the results are mostly negative.
Note: There are a lot of cases where middle children do not possess middle child personality. In some cases, attention is given to the middle child. For example, the middle child is the only girl and she is treated like a baby. Another example would be when the eldest is the laid back type who is a big loser, the middle child then would take the role of the eldest as the leader.
The Possible Causes
There are two main causes of having middle child personality. Identity crisis and lack of emotional support. Identity crisis is very common to all, it is something that we continue to struggle with. In fact, everyone wishes to be different so nothing can actually be done with it. The second is lack of emotional support. Because the eldest and youngest are the common favorites, the middle child is not given any support or attention. This unloved feeling makes them less confident and envious of others.
Is there a Solution?
Some say that they should be given the love and attention that was due a long time. I believe that this will only make her more dependent on her parent’s approval. Rather, she should be aware of the situation and resolve the problem from within, by overcoming the suppressed emotions that were kept from childhood. There are a lot of methods known today that offers promising results, one of these methods is Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP.